A One-Way Ticket To Sihanoukville

Laid-back travellers?
I look more like Eddie Yeats in his bin wagon.

We might as well have slept in the hold. It would have been quieter.

Eleven hours in the equivalent of a luggage rack UNDER the seats, this cramped, windowless death trap was our mode of transit from Siem Reap.

If I'd been granted the luxury of sleep, the driver's leaning on his horn from 6am onward might have been a gentle alarm call to mark our arrival at the relaxing beachy backwater of Sihanoukville.

With Bianca

Staying at the Everythang hostel, our cabana (shack) was ten steps from a calm, warm South China Sea in which we indulged ourselves for six days, when we weren't lounging around the beach.

This is as laid-back a thang as we've done on our travels. Only the streams of sunglasses salesmen and massage ladies and the distant throb of house music break up the tranquility, from swimming at sunrise to golden sunset.

Bar a couple of massive thunderstorms, we were treated to long, hot hot hot days on the loungers, with a stroll to one of the many beachfront restaurants along the strand of an evening. Like I said, we're getting too soft.

Yet more grub

Kim went to a temple thing with our new mate, crazy Dutch lady Bianca.

We had a great boat trip day around the islands, swimming, sunbathing and contracting a mild stomach upset from some uncooked chicken.

My carnivorous days are numbered. I am very much enjoying SE Asian curry without meat. Kim has given me the 'green' light, but I fully expect dinner invitations to taper off when we get home.

Phnom Penh and the killing fields next up. Brace yourself, my dear.

Hello Little Girl

To the Kinnaree restaurant for our first taste of Thai food. Vegetarian green curry and satay tofu... mmmmm... this veggy thing should be a doddle.

As planned, we had met up with our friend Sarah* from England when we finally got to the hotel. It was great to see her, not least cos she is fab, obviously, but just to see someone from home.

We're in Bangkok for a few nights, then off to Ko Samed for 10 more nights of pure R&R.

Off we all went for our smashing feed, followed by a pint amongst the Glitterari at the Kiwi bar.

I had obviously heard about these creepy creatures: the grey, older single gentlemen barflies in their silk shirts and slacks, hanging around the admittedly beautiful but teeny, fragile-looking local girls.

Still, unattractive old geezers need lovin' too, I reasoned, and I'm sure they're all smashing fellas.

I slowly drifted back to happier, lagery waters while watching the Chelsea-QPR game, and was overjoyed to see that NUFC had beaten Liverpool. What a week for the Toon! Happy days.

* some of you will remember Sarah as the little Bjorkalike Liverpudlian.

Don't Mess With My Tuk Tuk!

On the road again. 

So, here we are in Cambodia. It's good to finally hit the backpacker trail again after six weeks of being spoilt by friends and family in the civilised world.

Like Major Willard, we had gone soft waiting for a mission* but now we're in South East Asia proper, we can start planning Mekong Delta boat rides and Vietnam hill treks and the like.

Night Market

First up is Siem Reap, the jumping-up off point for the Angkor Wat and all the little Wats.

The "Tomb Raider" one.

We took a tuk tuk with our man Chonly, who for three days drove us round all these magnificently-wrought and delicately-carved religious marvels on his little moped/trailer combination, with a nice butterfly farm thrown in at the end.

As usual I'll hold back on the hyperbole. Have a look at the photos here instead.

Angkor Wat sunrise.

Chonly was a smashing fella, funny and laid back, who guided us expertly round the sites.

We aren't sure he didn't set up once, though. As he stopped for a toilet break, we were stormed by four cute kids bearing gifts for "one dollar". Everything is "one dollar", fridge magnets, postcards, guidebooks, etc.

Chonly didn't seem surprised when he came back, just negotiated a little on our behalf - Hmmm. Anyway, we bought some fish mobiles for a dollar...

Oh-oh, here comes trouble...

The Chinese tourist buses were out in force again, and it was a struggle to find quiet areas of the sites to reflect on and enjoy the architecture.

They really do seem to think this is their own personal film set and their noisiness and lack of respect for personal space is something to behold. We're fingers crossed they won't be there when we do our tekking - they could never get their bloody big buses up the trails.

Posing in wedding dresses, ffs. Any chance of us
taking a photo of the actual temple there, mate?

The butterfly farm was a tranquil arbour before heading back to our Jasmine Family hostel in town.

(Butterflies to come)

The town itself is fun. Bustly and colourful, with some great night markets, cheap eats, bars, feet-eating fish and massages, I have been offered a happy ending twice so far, oddly when Kim is off looking at something.

...ET

We are going to the circus tonight (Wednesday, 19 November), then off to the coast at Sihanoukville tomorrow night, for a bit of beach after all this exertion...

* I'll try and keep the Apocalypse, Now references to a minimum, but I have been seeing these lands through a 'war movie' prism for the past 30+ years. After three months "in-country", I'm sure I'll have a different perspective.

China Girls On Film

Here we are on Ko Samed, with it's idyllic beaches, hot sun, warm sea and smiley people.

Our favourite palm-fringed beach is inhabited by a few Euros, several Russians, a good number of SE Asian persuasions and regular boatloads of Chinese who seem to use the beach as a catwalk-cum-photo studio.

Dog, Sarah, photo shoots.

While more attractive to observe than the many enormous white/bright red beer bellies on display, if often only because of their wacky dress sense, they're not as relaxed as the Thais.

Before the daily invasion.

They must spend all their time shopping and planning their latest shoot, posing in every permutation and angle possible, often actually on unwary sunbathers' towels.

The other night we watched the West Brom match, which was nice, especially as Baggie ex-pat Wallace from next door bought us a victory drink.

Sunrise Villas. Our gaff.

I was a bit laid up with an ear infection for the rest of this week.

The local doctor cleaned out my lugs, while his nurse cleaned out my wallet. Still, I have loads of tablets and drops and stuff to take and the insurance should cover most of it...

Although under orders to not swim or drink we went for a meal, then along to a nice secluded and dark beach bar for one small beer.

Of course, just as I was enjoying it, who should appear out of the shadows but the doctor.

He smiled, shook my hand and pointed suspiciously at the beer I was trying to hide behind my back.

At least he didn't try to photograph it as evidence.

Caught red-handed.

Welcome to Ko Samed...

The Playboy Of The Eastern World

Wouldn't mind spending two hours
 in the back of her cab.
Sadly, this in not our Thai Bunny.

Bunny drove us to our hotel from Bangkok Suvarnabhumi airport, a 40-minute drive which turned into two hours as the poor fella got lost on the main drag and had to ring the hotel for directions, on our phone!

A sweet, tiny old man in threadbare waistcoat and cravat, he had spent most of his life working in restaurants in the Washington DC area, where the Americans had nicknamed him Bunny when his real name, Punhi, turned out to be too difficult for them to pronounce.

They subsequently had the temerity to suggest he was a homosexual (his words) because he was called Bunny. He had the last laugh though, telling us he had lived something of a Playboy lifestyle in the States.

Returning to his home city, he wasn't happy that Thai words were translated badly on signs, eg Bangkok means something about 'chicken' and should be written 'Barng Ko' which means whatever it's supposed to mean.

Also, the city had been redeveloped to such an extent that he didn't recognise much of it, as evidenced by the fact he'd got us lost for an hour and a half on the equivalent of Oxford Street, London.

As if to add insult to injury, his motor conked out when he finally pulled into our hotel car park, so a couple of the lads and I had to give him a bump start to get him back on his way. He's probably still driving around our block right now.

Diva.

(Sunday, 2 November. This entry is a bit out of date, as we are now in Bangkok, but I can't be bothered to edit it, so will post it and crack on with Part Two ...)

Caz and Hoady met us off the 'plane and within 20 minutes we were in the supermarket stocking a shopping trolley up for the week.

It was very special to see them again. They haven't changed a bit, but now seem very grown up in their fab pad, a designer's dream home, which we are currently besmirching with our traveller tat.

Maroubra

They have thrown open their wardrobe doors to us and donated some much-needed colour to our Autumn/Winter collections.

So far we have seen quite a bit of Sydney - their 'hood, an excellent Indian restaurant, the local working mens' club, complete with Saturday Night Divas Rihanna, Gloria Gaynor, Gina G, Madonna and Tina Turner, also featuring a grab-a-granny dancefloor section.

Ladies in the house.

Potential granny-grabbing target, background

To Maroubra and Malabar beaches for some paddle board action. Me, doing watersports, just imagine! It was great, and we'll try to fit another session in soon.

Kim and I have wandered around the zoo, the botanical gardens and the harbour, played with Cady the cat, discovered Super Mario Karts and watched Wolf Creek 2 and the Lego Movie. This place is serious fun.

The Design Museum.

On Friday, we are off to the Blue Mountains as C&H take a well-deserved break from work in their Sapphire & Steel-style home office.

On Saturday, Kim and I take to the water for a sailing course which the Hoads have presented us with... watch this space.

On Sunday, we are off for three days on a boat called Roger. Watch THIS space...

All in all, we are having the best time with the best of friends.  Thailand is paling into insignificance at the thought of giving up so much luxury, hospitality, the Mac I'm currently typing on, and unlimited TimTams...